I’ve started this new blog, but I wanted to repost a very special entry from my old blog that I made on March 21st, 2016. Enjoy the read! I hope after you’ve finished you will know a little bit more about me and the love I have for my little girl. It’s what has inspired this blogging mama to write. More entries to come soon!
March 21, 2016
Aurelia June Austin came into the world at 3:48 pm on February 3rd, 2016. She weighed 7 lbs 12 oz and measured 20 1/2 inches long. And this is what the world knows about her birthday thus far.
What I am about to do is recount that day to you and let you inside my head. I will let you experience the joys and pains of childbirth, and feel the millions of emotions that I felt as you read through this post.
February the 3rd, 2016; the hardest day of my life up to this point.
Pregnancy: Week 38 Day 7
It started out pretty ordinary, actually. I woke up around 7:00 am to my husband scurrying around the bedroom, trying to get ready for school that day. He was running behind, so I thought that I would do him a favor and make him breakfast before he had to leave. As he jumped in the shower, I made my way down to the kitchen and grabbed some eggs out of the refrigerator. I flipped on the burner and poured some olive oil into the skillet, along with the eggs. As I stood there watching the oil sizzle, I felt something warm and wet trickle down the inside of my upper left thigh. The strange thing about it was that I didn’t feel like I had to go to the bathroom, and I had no control over it. It stopped after just a few seconds, so I went into the bathroom to check it out. The wet spot had no color to it, but when I wiped, sure enough, a light pink hue was left on the toilet paper. Did my water just break, I thought to myself, because this was NOT how it happens in the movies. And sure enough, my water had broken and there was no dramatic scene to it whatsoever. I had felt no pain at all, so I went and finished making Zach his omelet. This was around 7:15 am When I was done I walked upstairs and met Zach as he was walking back into the bedroom. I told him not to freak out, but I thought my water had broken. We decided that I would call the doctor’s office at 8:00 am when they opened, and we would go from there. He left shortly after that because he had a test to take and wanted to get it out of the way.
Not ten minutes after he left, my contractions started. Probably around 7:30 am or so. At first, they just felt like mild period cramps, and I thought, oh I can handle this no problem. About 10 minutes later, I had another one and it was a lot more intense than the first. Ten minutes after that the next one had me doubled over, and I attempted to breath through it as I was timing myself in between. After that one, I called my doctor’s office, hoping to talk to someone before the next one came on.
After talking with the nurse, I was told to go directly to Labor and Delivery, so I grabbed my hospital bag, the diaper bag and my keys and waited out the next contraction before I jumped in the car. Luckily, our hospital is about 10 minutes away give or take, so I was able to avoid a contraction while driving. As soon as I pulled into the parking garage, another one came on and this one started to radiate from my back into my lower abdomen. I breathed through it the best that I could and once it was over, I headed into the hospital and got signed in. By this point, Zach was already done with his test and was headed my way. He got there probably 10 minutes after I did, and sat with me while I was getting checked in. The pains were getting much worse now. The bulk of my pain was now in my lower back, making it very uncomfortable for me to sit, I was ready to be in my room. Luckily, a nice man who worked for the hospital saw me in agony, grabbed a wheelchair, and took me up to L&D right then. I undressed and slipped my gown on as fast as I could and crawled into the bed they had prepared for me. The nurses started flooding in one by one, asking me this and that, checking vitals, strapping all kind of wires and monitors to me, it was overwhelming to say the least. The funniest part that I can remember from then was the nurse asking me what I was having, which I told her a girl, and she says to me, “And if he comes out an ‘Alex’, would you like to have him circumsized?” I looked at Zach like she was nuts.
This is where it got intense. The nurse measured my cervix as soon as I got there and I was already 6 cm dilated at that point and the contractions were coming about every 5 minutes, maybe less. I started shaking with the pain of each one, and I had to really start focusing on my breathing. I have never felt pain like I did that day. It was completely attacking my lower back, the pressure was unbearable. My poor nurse and Zach had to snap me back into reality because I kept frantically telling them that I couldn’t do this, and I wasn’t going to make it through this. I had had enough at this point, and was begging for my epidural. Sadly, I had only been there about 30 minutes and no blood work had been done, so they couldn’t administer it yet. They promised me that as long as I could sit perfectly still, that I could still have it, and I happily agreed. The nurse anesthetist came in and i’m almost positive that I told her I loved her. She was the only person in the world I cared about at that moment in time. Poor Zach was made to leave the room while they gave it to me, and he wasn’t thrilled about that lol. I was never so happy to have a needle poked in my back. I literally didn’t even feel it.
From the moment I got to the hospital to the time I got my epidural, only 45 minutes had passed.
After that point, the medicine and the epidural were making me feel pretty dang good, but they did slow my labor down dramatically. After they gave it to me, I was 8.5 cm dilated, but I wouldn’t reach 10 cm and start pushing until 3:00 pm. Although I was numb, I could still feel pressure and knew when I was contracting, which helped a lot with the pushing. Zach stayed by my side the entire time and at 3:48 pm, he watched our daughter enter the world. He also got to cut her cord, which was pretty incredible he said.
Now, I am an emotional person by nature, but nothing could have prepared me for the amount and intensity of the emotions I felt after I delivered. Dr. M placed Aurie on my chest and I lost all control over my emotions. I started to cry frantically, but I was also smiling and trying to catch my breath all at the same time. This tiny human was mine, she grew in my belly and now I am looking at her for the first time! Aside from her crazy elongated head, she was the most perfect and amazing thing I had ever seen. She was crying and all I remember is the nurse coming over and suctioning out her mouth and nose. After about 3 minutes, the nurse took her from me and I could tell something was not right.
As they worked on me and cleaned me up, I watched the nurse suction, wipe and suction some more. She kept looking back at the doctor, then back to my baby, and back to the doctor again. I couldn’t breath. She finally said she was taking Aurie to the nursery to help get her suctioned out all the way. I honestly had no idea what to think. I had never done this before. For all I knew, this could be normal, right?
After they stitched me up, the nurse came back in the room to talk to us. She led with this, “When I was walking her to the nursery, I almost lost her”. She had turned blue from lack of oxygen because she had “taken a big drink” as they phrase it, during birth. She had fluid on her lungs, and thank the good Lord above that one of the Vanderbilt doctors was in the nursery helping another baby at the time that my baby was struggling to breath. They got her fixed up, but she had to be put on oxygen and IV fluids for the time being, and there was talk of potentially needing to transfer her to Vanderbilt hospital if conditions didn’t improve in the following hours.
I had never felt so scared and hopeless in my entire life. But God was with my baby, and she did improve. Slowly but surely. Time is a funny thing when you are in the hospital. The hours pass so fast, but the days seems to drag on; it makes no sense but this is the best way I can explain it to you. Aurie was in the nursery on monitors from the time she was born on Wednesday, until 11:00 pm on Friday night. And finally, I got to hold my baby with no wires attached after 2 whole days. We finally got to go home Saturday evening, after what felt like a week stay in that hospital room.
Another amazing phenomenon is how having a baby monumentally increases the love you feel towards your spouse. I have never loved Zach as much as I did those days following Aurie’s birth. It was as if her existence amplified my feelings for him to a high that they had never reached prior to that.
I also was extremely emotional about everything for the first 2 weeks after birth. I would cry in the evening for absolutely no reason at all. It was so bizarre, and due completely to my raging hormones. They did settle down eventually, and I am more or less back to my old normal self. Although, I will never be the same, because that sweet little girl has forever changed who I am.
I am a mother now.
Aurie is 6 weeks and 5 days old now and is healthy as a horse! We love this little girl more than you can even imagine!